If Amy had Gotten the Abortion
by AnnaRosas
Summary: This is a story about what would've happened if Amy had gone through with the abortion and never had John. Not trying to offend anyone, just trying to offer a different view. I do not own anything (I wish).
1. Getting the Abortion

If Amy had gotten the abortion (The Secret Life of an American Teenager Fanfiction)

I stepped into the doctor's office. The room was plastid with posters on every wall screeching about abstinence. Too late, I thought bitterly. Ben and Adrian were waiting outside, and I knew that this was my one and only chance to get rid of this growth inside me._ "Baby"_ I thought. No, I can't think of it like that. This thing will ruin my life if I don't stop it. Then a kind looking nurse came in. She had warm brown eyes and a kind smile.

"Hello dear, the doctor will be with you in a moment. I just have to do a few tests to make sure everything's alright." I felt a lump in my throat and nodded along to her words. When she was done checking my weight, I thought about all the repercussions this thing could have on my life. _It's just like a disease, I'm at the doctors, and he's going to heal me_. I kept repeating this, trying to reassure myself.

"I'm going to go get the doctor now sweetie, I'll be right back." She started for the door.

"Wait." I said, my voice high-pitched. I stuttered the next words. "C-c-can you p-p-please send in b-b-Ben. He's in the w-w-waiting r-r-room?" She gave my a warm smile and nodded her head. I tried to focus on calming my breathing and what I would do when this was over and taken care of. If Ben still liked me we would date, and then in a few years we could married. Then maybe I'd have kids. Not now. The t-t-thing would just hate me if I did this to it now. Then a quiet knock sounded on the door and Ben peaked his head inside cautiously. I smiled ad ran up to him. He met me halfway, embracing me softly but firmly. I didn't realize until he told me to calm down that I had been crying.

"Ben, I don't want to have a baby. I don't. I'm too young, and I love you not Ricky. I don't want to have his child. Please tell me you'll love me even if I do this." Ben pulled away and looked into my eyes. I saw him sigh slightly and push my hair back with his hand.

"Amy Jergens, no matter what you do, I will always love you. If you don't want this baby, I understand." I smiled and wiped the tears from my eyes. He was too good for me, he was just so good. I gently pressed my lips to his, enjoying the fire that heated me wherever we touched. Then the doctor came in, and we pulled apart, both embarrassed.

"Well" he coughed uncomfortably. "Let's get this started shall we." Ben smiled softly, and held my hand, while slowly backing away.

"Wait." I turned to the doctor. "Can Ben stay during the procedure? I don't really want to be alone." The doctor smiled and nodded gently.

"Of course." Ben looked nervous, but I figured that he could either hold my hand through this, or a screaming me as a child ripped its way through me. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to me. Then the doctor asked me a few embarrassing questions that made me regret having Ben here, like how far along I was and such. After that came the hard part. The actual abortion. I'm going to skip the gory details. There was blood, but not as much as you'd expect. When it was over I was very tired from the medication, and very sore. Ben helped me from the chair and practically carried me to the car. I don't remember much after that, except I remember seeing Grace and Ricky. Ben and Adrian argued that it was my choice, but Grace was blazing angry. She shouted prayers and her thoughts about where I'd go after I died. The most surprising part was that Ricky was yelling too. He was screaming at me from outside the car. The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed.


	2. Arguing with Ricky

"Well look who's finally awake?" My mother says, opening the door.

"Yup." I whispered through clenched teeth.

"You slept all day, baby making you tired?" Whew, she sounds calm.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I think that you should have your phone back, just in case of an emergency if we need to call you." She hands back my cell.

I yawn a little and check my phone. It's already 7 and I have 8 messages.

"Alright well, I'll warm you up some lasagna, be down in 10 minutes, it's important that you eat." I nod, and start going through my texts.

Ben 5:49

I carried you to your bed when we got back. No one was home so they don't know I brought you. They still think you're pregnant.

Ben 5:52

Doctor said to take some Ibeprofen if you feel bad. Just get some rest and get better. I love you.

Adrian 6:15

You did the right thing. Don't feel bad.

Adrian 6:18

Call me when you get up. Ben said you're sleeping right now.

Grace 6:23

I can't believe what you did. That baby was innocent. Murderer. I'd tell everyone what you did, except Ricky asked me not to. I'll be praying for the baby you killed.

Grace 6:26

I'm sorry. The Christian in me is angry, but I know how hard the decision must have been for you. I forgive you. I'll be praying for you.

Rickey 6:36

I thought you were better than that. It was my baby too, whether or not I knew about it earlier. How could you?

Ricky 6:45

I'm coming over at 7:30. We need to talk.

Wow. Well, I better call Adrian. Although I don't know what I'll say to her. I dial her number and wait for her to answer, thinking of what she might want to ask. Then she picks up.

"Hello, Amy?" I suck a quick breath in and answer her.

"Yeah, hey Adrian. You said to call you." I stand up and shut the door. If my mom heard me mention the a-b-o-r-t-i-o-n then she would murder me.

"Yeah, listen Amy. I know I sounded eager for you to-" she paused, searching for the word. "Terminate the pregnancy so that I could be with Ricky, but that wasn't the case. I just thought that you were too good to be tied to someone like Ricky like that. He's a player and wouldn't make a good father at all." The words 'terminate the pregnancy' springs tears to my eyes. I killed a baby, my baby. How would I ever forgive myself? At least Adrian was being nice, although I wasn't sure why.

"Thanks Adrian." I focused on keeping my voice controlled. "It means a lot that you said that. I feel like everyone's just angry at me for what I did." I recount the text messages, all of them angry and hateful except for Ben's and Adrians, and I guess Grace of you count her apology. Then when I tell her what Ricky said, I remember that he's going to be here it 15 minutes. I stand up and run to my closet to change. When I find some reasonable clothes, I stare down at my old ones. These carry bad memories, memories or pregnancy and babies, and my crime. I shudder and try to pay attention to Adrian's babble about where they should shove their words. Then my doorbell rings. I gulp and open my bedroom door, walking down the stairs toward the front door.

"Listen I got to go Adrian." I try to add some shock and puzzelment to my voice. "R-R-Ricky's here." She starts shouting but I hang up the phone and stow it away in my pocket. Then I take a deep breath and answer the door.

"H-h-hey Rickey. H-h-h-how's it going?" He looks frankly pissed. Nomally Ricky is easy going and always has a smile plastered on his face, but right now I can barely draw up the image of his grin.

"How can you even ask that?" His voice is a low growl, fermenting anger in its tone.

"Who's that?" My mother asks from the kitchen.

I put some fake nonchalance in my tone and shout, "Just a friend from school. Mind if we talk outside for a few minutes?" My mother peeks her head from the door. I close it a little, so she doesn't see that's its Ricky.

"That's fine, just be back in a little bit or your food will get cold." I try to smile, but she leaves before I can muster it on my face. I go outside and shut the door so the sound doesn't travel to my mom. Then we walk around to the side of the house where the swinging bench is. We sit in silence for a moment.

"I can barely look at you, you know that." Ricky spits. I just sit there. I deserve this, but I don't know why he cares all of the sudden. "I can't believe what you did. You just saw that it was a problem and got rid of it!" His tone was rising.

"I-I-I didn't know what else to do. I mean, Ben was okay with it but I doubt he'd want to raise another man's child." This only seems to make him angrier.

"Ben, that's who you're talking about right now! I would've taken care of it! Me! Not Ben!"

"How can you say that? You know you hated me for getting pregnant in the first place." I whispered the last few words out. I know my mom couldn't hear us, but the words were hard to say so loud.

"IT WAS MY BABY TOO!" He's crying now. I want to apologize, and tell him that if I could take it back I would, but I know in my heart it's not true. "I mean, to find out where you were from Grace and to not even be a part of the decision." This angered me. How could he say that? It was my decision.

"Really! Like you would've stayed home from dates taking care of it, or gotten a job just to support it. Admit it Ricky, you're happy I did it and you're angry right now only because I decided this without you aren't you? You aren't my husband or my boyfriend! You don't get a say." For a moment he's silent, then he gets closer to me.

"I could be, if you'd let me." Then his lips are on mine and I can't think. They're so soft and warm, but not as warm as Ben's. When I remember his name I'm alive with anger. I push Ricky off of me and slap him hard, my hand stinging with the aftershock.

"I'm with Ben, and you know that!" I give him a look of fury and storm off, or begin to when I see Ricky knocked to the floor by a flying blurred figure. Ben?

"How dare you put your filthy hands on my Amy?" Ben narrates each word with a punch, marking Ricky's face with bruises. Normally Ricky would flatten Ben, but the shock threw him off his game. I turn my head and see Adrian walking from her car. I notice that she looks angry, but not at me, at Ricky.

"Oh yeah, she liked my filthy hands on her at band camp." The words make my vision go red. How could he dare bring that up now. I pull Ben off the Ricky. He's still breathing hard, but the touch of my hand on his shoulder makes his madness stop. Ricky gets up, spitting blood onto the floor. I see white in the blood and think it might be a tooth.

"Get off my property you coward!" Fire is ringing though my voice and as he walks away, Adrian slaps him harder than I did.

"We are through." She spits the words like venom and stalks off toward us. Ricky looked stunned. His cheek was red and the impression of Adrian and mine's handprints added to Ben's bruises gave him the impression of a serious fight. Then he walked away to his car and drove away.

"Thanks Amy." Adrian aid. "For pushing him off." I nodded. Once I comprehended what was happening I had no other choice. I was in love with Ben. Speaking of, he slung his arm around my shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Yeah, thanks." He said it sweetly, and kissed my cheek. "I love you." He said. I smiled and kissed him back. His face was marked with freshly forming bruises, from where Ricky fought back.

"I love you too." Then a thought occurred to me. "Hey, why were you guys there?" Adrian gave me a guilty look.

"Well when you said you were going to talk to Ricky, I called Ben and we drove here. Then we saw you two talking and him kiss you. Ben was like in shock for a second, but when you pushed Ricky off of you and slapped him Ben charged at him." I smiled.

"Thanks." I gave Adrian a small hug.

"Anytime." Then she and Ben said goodbye and left. I walked inside.

"So did you tell him? I thought I heard shouting." She said. She was talking about the pregnancy. About the baby I got rid of. I guess she saw who it was. When I left she was furious, but Ashley texted me when I was in the waiting room and told me that she told my Mom I snuck out to see Ricky and tell him about the baby. She still thought I was pregnant. I gulped

"Uh, yeah. He took is better than I thought anyway. I'm going to eat in my room if that's okay."

"That's fine. Your vitamins are on the bed, don't forget to take them." I nodded, said goodnight, and went to my room. As soon as the door shut behind me, tears started falling down my face. The baby was dead. I killed it. How was I going to tell my mom? She'd figure out soon enough when I didn't get bigger, or at the very least when a baby didn't pop out of me in 5 months. I just sat on the floor, sobbing and eating lasagna for a while. Then my phone buzzed. I checked the text.

Ben 8:24

How are you?

Then another buzz.

Ben 8:25

We didn't get a chance to talk about anything. Curfew.

I smiled and texted back. "Bad. I feel like the world is crashing down around me and nothing I do can stop it." Buzz.

Ben 8:27

Don't feel bad. You did what you had too. You're only a teenager. Ricky will get over it. He's just in shock.

I texted back, "Thanks, I needed to hear that. I'm still worried about how to tell my mom though." Buzz.

Ben 8:30

Don't worry, you'll figure it out. We can talk about it tomorrow. The doctor said you should rest. Take some Ibuprofen and go to sleep. I love you.

I texted back, "Thanks, I love you too." Then stood up, plugged the charger into my phone, and went to bed.


	3. Texting Ben

I woke up with a migraine and a pulsing pounding pain down _below_. It was 3:56 in the morning. Luckily I was already excused from school today, but I doubted I could sleep well with the ache in my womb. It was like I was having a super period, because of all the cramping. I reached for the bottle next to my bed and swallowed some ibuprofen. After 15 minutes of pain it finally started to dissipate a little. I reached for my phone and texted Ben. ''I love you. I'm sorry for everything I put you through." A few minutes later. Buzz.

Ben 4:22

Early riser catches the worm. I love you too. You don't have to apologize, Ricky kissed you. You didn't kiss him. Plus you got a good swing in before I attacked him.

This made me smile. Ben still loved me. Everything would be alright. People at school would think that it was just a rumor, I'd go to Julliard, and then one day when I'm not 15 and pregnant I'd marry Ben. I texted him, "Ben, you know how you said that proposal is good for a lifetime? I accept, but I want to wait until I'm older, until we're older. I want it to start off right because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,"

A few minutes later my phone rang with a call. Ben?

Ben: Hello Amy!

He sounded really excited.

Me: Ben?

Ben: Amy Jergens, I love you. You're right, we might be a little young. One day after we're older we'll get married and start a family. And we'll make it, because I love you Amy Jergens.

By this point I was crying. After Ricky, and lying, and after the abortion Ben still loved me.

Me: Me too.

It was silent for a few minutes as I wiped away my tears and thought of my future with Ben. I felt a pang of ache for the baby I'd never get to know, but I was happy that at least I'd have more children, later. When I was older and with Ben.

Ben: Have you decided what you're going to tell your mom?

Me: No. I have an appointment tomorrow with her OBGYN so I have to figure something out, wanna talk about it when you get home from school?

Ben: Sure. We'll figure it out. I love you.

Me: Me too.

*click*

The pain in my abdomen finally faded to a dull throb, and I was able to go to sleep.


	4. Ashley's Advice

Secret Life if Amy had the abortion (part 4)

When I woke up again, it was 9:30. "Well, no use in going back to sleep now." I thought. My stomach hurt still, and as I stood up to walk to the bathroom, it pounded with every step.

"Amy! Mom wants you!" Ashley called from downstairs.

"I'll be right there." I called back. When I got downstairs, my mom looked angry. I mean livid, like really pissed off.

"Mom?" My voice was so small I was surprised that I could find it. Did she know?

"Amy, I think your father is cheating on me, on us. We're leaving, and never coming back. We have a week to pack before I put the house on the market and sell it."

"What! Why do we have to leave?" I was so confused.

"Because I can't live here when all it does is remind me of him. If you really want, we can stay until you have the baby, and then leave." I didn't know what to think. The baby was the only thing that could have saved me and I killed it. I was such a coward.

"Yeah, I was thinking about giving the baby up, you know for adoption." I bit my lip. I was no good at lying, but right now it was easier. I'd had practice. "Can we stay just until it... comes out? Then we can leave and no one ever has to know in the new place."

"Yes, that seems fair. And I'm really glad you're responsible enough to know that you can't take care of a baby at 15. You took the moving news a lot better than Ashley." After that, she left to work, leaving me feeling defeated and dejected. So, I called the only person who could help me feel better.

"Hey Amy." He sounded happy, normal.

"Ben….are you still at school?" Tears were flying off my face and my voice was thick with emotion.

"Yeah, it's barely 3rd passing period. I have lunch next though. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" His voice was gentle and full of concern. I couldn't stop huffing and puffing, so for a few minutes we said nothing as I tried to get my breathing under control. Then finally I heard the warning bell that meant Ben had only two minutes to get to class on the phone.

"Just come to my house during lunch." Then I hung up and cried. The pain in my stomach, punishment for what I did yet not punishment enough.

An hour later, Ben came to my door. When I answered and saw it was him, I opened the door and fell into his arms.

"Sh, sh. It's okay." He stroked my hair gently and lifted me in his arms and carried me inside.

"Ben, I killed my baby. I killed it!" Aching sobs racked my body as I confessed. True Ben already knew, I mean he was there, but saying it made it feel better. If only ever so slightly. He had shut the door, but I still felt like everyone could hear so I whispered.

"Amy, what you did was normal. I may have been against it at first, but I support your decision; because, you know what's best for you. You're only 15, and did you really want to have Ricky's baby?" I shook my head. His words made sense, of course they did. He was Ben, the guy willing to marry me when I had been pregnant with another man's child.

"I know I sound so stupid, but that baby was a part of me too. And I miss her." I didn't have the right to miss her though, when I was the one who so mercilessly took her life before she had it.

"Her?" He sounded confused.

"I know we'll never know, but I think it was a her." Tear rolled down my face as I pictured a mini Amy stained with Ricky's features. "I just need something to do, some sort of distraction." Ben smiled. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed me. I missed his kisses, they felt like normal. They felt like love. I leaned into it, accepting the comfort of Ben's warmth. It was like balm to my wounded emotions. For a while we just stood in the hallway kissing. His hand was pressed into my hair, and mine was gently trailing his back.

"Whoa, don't want another one do we?" Ashley burst in, an awkward smile on her face and a brown paper bag in her hand. I pulled away, bright red, and Ben looked uncomfortable.

"Ashley what're you doing here? School's still in session." I asked, trying to put my older sister face on.

"I came to help solve your whole, not pregnant problem." I raised an eyebrow when she pulled a box from the bag. "I did some research online, and there are these pills that pregnant woman take to treat some genetic condition and it makes every pregnant side effect worse for them. But to someone who's not pregnant these pills will make it seem like you're pregnant. It'll give you swollen feet, a bloated stomach which might help a little but you should consider wrapping a blanket or something there, nausea, and mood swings (though I doubt you'll need pills for that)." She added that part under her breath. "If might make you throw up too, but not much."

"Will it fool the doctor?" I asked.

"Probably not. You should talk to her, tell her the truth, and then ask her to help you. Later we can say it was a miscarriage or something to Mom." I nodded. It wasn't a great plan in fact it was really bad, but it was all I had.

"Okay. Thanks Ashley. You should get back to school. Mom might suspect if you start ditching. I'll pay you the money back when you get home." Then Ben pulled a wad on twenties from his pocket and turned to her.

"How much?" He asked.

"Ben you don't have to do that-" I started to say.

"No, no." He cut me off. "It's the least I can do. I love you Amy." I sighed and kissed him lightly, reserving most of my passion for when Ashley left.

"It was 30 plus tax. Thanks Ben. I have to go. The gyno's number is on the fridge. Don't mess it up."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Bye Ashley." Then she left. And Ben and I were alone.

"Ben, when do you have to go back?" I tried to grin, but the thought of the abortion made me sad again.

"Not for another 45 minutes. And if you need me too, I can ditch study hall." He sounded so helpful, and I felt a pang in my stomach. I didn't deserve him. Maybe that's why I got pregnant by Ricky, it's what I deserved and I took a shortcut to get out of it.

"You really shouldn't skip school for me." I said, twisting out of his grasp. "I'm feeling really tired anyways, so you should go." He looked disappointed by the news, but at least he didn't look relieved. I know it was selfish of me, but I loved Ben. I just didn't deserve him. I'd just have to spend the rest of my life trying to be better, for him. I managed a smile and kissed him of the cheek. "Call me when you get home." He kissed me back lightly and told me he loved me again. I couldn't even say the words so I just said 'me too.'

The idea of this chapter is to show that without Amy's pregnant call to her mother, Anne feels like she doesn't need to try to fix things with George which may or may not spur her realization of her true sexuality. I love to read your comments, so let me know who you want Amy to end up with, and who everyone else should end up with.


	5. Convincing the Doctor

Secret Life: If Amy had the Abortion (part 5)

After Ben left I took a pill from the bottle Ashley gave me, and called the OBGYN. I asked if she was free anytime today and she said her lunch break was in an hour. I told her I'd be there, forgetting that I don't have a car. After the conversation I thought about who I knew with a car. Ricky, Ben, Lauren's brother, and Adrian. After yesterday's events there was no way I was going to ask Rick for a ride, I just sent Ben away and he's already done too much for me, and Lauren's parents wouldn't let either of them ever drive me anywhere anyway. So that just left Adrian. I dialed her number from my contacts, using he dial tone to even my breathing.

Adrian: Hello?

Me: Hey, Adrian. It's Amy. Although you probably knew that, caller id. Well anyways, I kinda need a ride.

Adrian: What am I, your taxi driver?

Me: Please? I need to talk to the OBGYN. My mom doesn't know about the a-b-o-r-t-i-o-n and I want to see the doctor first. I would walk but apparently i am supposed to be resting after the... procedure.

Adrian: Fine, what time?

Me: I have to be there in like an hour.

Adrian: Consider it done. I'm on my way. Put some clothes on, I want to grab a bite to eat.

Me: Sure, thanks. I'll see you in a bit.

Adrian: K bye.

Me: Bye

*click*

I put on some jeans and a shirt and waited for Adrian to come. After few minutes the doorbell rang.

"Wow, that was -." I said as I opened the door. It wasn't Adrian. It was Ricky.

"Hey Amy, mind if I come in?" He looked apologetic, but I knew the mask. I was instantly furious.

"Yes, I do. Ricky what the hell were you thinking, kissing me?" I shouted at him. He put his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't thinking okay. Except how much I like you and how if you hadn't gotten pregnant than I wouldn't even have remembered the night we had and it sickened me. I like you Amy, I like you a lot. I'm sorry for trying to kiss you. You're Ben's girl and that was wrong. Maybe though, someday in the future, if you're not with Ben we can see each other." He said it like it made perfect sense, like it was a sure thing. But I saw through his lies, I knew what happened last time I fell for it.

"I highly doubt all that. But you are right about two things, you hardly remembered us having sex, and I am with Ben now. So just leave okay. I have a doctor's appointment to go to anyways and it's soon."

"A doctor's appointment? I could take you. I have my car. I mean, it's the least you could do after killing our child." My vision ran red, adrenaline flowed through my veins I was so angry. My mind flashed images of injuring him, screaming at him and even spitting on him, but I just shut the door and clicked the lock. I don't know how long I sat there crying. When I first saw Ricky I would've done anything just to talk to him, and now the thought of him sickened me. After knowing who he really was I could never be with him. After a while a knock sounded at the door.

"Go away Ricky!" I shouted through tears.

"It's me Adrian, don't you want to go eat?" She sounded bored and confused. I wiped my face sloppily with my sleeve and answered the door Adrian was outside she saw my face and looked worried.

"Why did you think Ricky was here?"

"Ricky, he came and tried to apologize. I just. I CAN'T TAKE IT!" I was screaming now. Ricky's face brought memories of my baby. The baby that would never grow up because I killed it. I was a monster what was wrong with me.

"Calm down and come inside." She shoved me back inside and shut the door. By then I was hysterical. I remember feeling the sting of a slap on my face but I don't remember anything else except tears and more screaming. After a while I felt arms around me and it took time for me to realize it was Ben.

Adrian must have called him. For a second I was angry but then I realized it was okay. Ben made everything better. He was the only good thing in my life right now. He was whispering to me sweet things and compliments, reassuring me on how everything was alright, but I knew it was a lie. Nothing would be okay ever again and that was my fault. When I told them what Ricky had said, they were both shocked but didn't say anything. Adrian looked pissed and Ben's knuckles turned white from how hard he was clenching his fists.

When I finally calmed down Adrian helped me fix my makeup and we went to the OBGYN. The doctor was nice and when I explained to her my situation she didn't seemed that shocked.

"Well, I understand your situation, but why are you telling me this?" I gulped and searched Ben's face as if looking for answers. He spoke.

"We were hoping you could help us. You see, Amy's mother doesn't know she had an abortion." I winced at the term. Did Ben have to be so blunt? He knew what the word did to me, what memories it brought up. I didn't know if I'd be okay ever again because of it. At the very least the doctor didn't start yelling but, I didn't seem that convinced that she would do it. She explained that lying was wrong and that I should tell my mother the truth. Ben finally managed to convince her to help us, pointing out that as teenagers we couldn't raise children and therefore our decision had been just. She agreed to help. Now, tomorrow she will assure my mom I'm pregnant, and later she will help me fake a miscarriage. Then we thanked her and left. Ben stayed with me for a couple hours but Adrian and went back to school. All he did was hold me in a warm embrace, he didn't try to kiss me or anything, and he was just there for me.

That's one of the things that I love about him, he knows there's a time and place for everything. While having Ben there didn't make me happy it at least kept me from breaking down again. I decided right then and there that I would never see Ricky again if I could avoid it. It would just cause problems and make moving on worse. Seeing Ricky would not help ever anyways, he just came with so much drama. Besides, I was in love with Ben, and for right now that was enough to make life worth living.


	6. Lying to My Mom

The next day I woke up in a pool of sweat. Nightmares about today going wrong had tormented me throughout my sleep. I had envisioned every possible scenario for this going wrong, and I had to admit that this entire plan was going to fall apart. Unfortunately, it was the only plan I had, so I had no choice but to stick with it. Especially with all the people this could hurt if it went wrong.

"Amy, Mom says you're leaving in 15 minutes." Ashley called from downstairs. I huffed and raced to the bathroom to shower. As I undressed, I noticed that without the baby growing inside of me anymore, the weight I'd gained was already fading into nothing but memory. My feet were no longer swollen, and I no longer had that glow pregnant women had. All that remained of my aborted child was a small inch of fat around my stomach.

Racing against the clock, I barely had time to blow dry and brush my hair before changing and rushing out the door with my mother. The car ride was filled with silence as we road to the OB GYN. When we got there, my mother dropped me off so that she could find parking, that way I didn't have to walk as far. I rushed in, and managed to catch my doctor as she was talking to one of her receptionist. She smiled gently and led the way to her office, my mother would be stalled with the paperwork, and if anyone asked I could simply say I had been using the bathroom, which everyone knows is located near her office.

"Hello Amy." Dr. Sadowski said in a careful tone. "How are you? Any cramping or bleeding at all?" I shook my head.

"No, not really. The first day a little, and more the second day, but now I feel fine." I struggled to distance myself from the situation. My mother could sense no lies when she came in, and if Dr. Sadowski could keep her act together, so could I.

"Good, good. It's normal to have some cramping and light spotting, but due to the early termination of your pregnancy I think you'll be just fine. Now, when your mother comes in here, I'll run some tests on you and ask you a few questions. Then when the results come back I'll announce that there is something wrong. I'll take a few more tests, and then when I come back I'll tell your mother the "news." Do you think you can handle that?" Her words seemed robust and cold, and I would have been offended if it wasn't for the kind and caring tone she'd used.

"Yes, after all, that's why I'm here." She gave me the "correct" answers to her questions, and then told me to go meet my mother before she came looking for me. I got up and walked out to where my mother was, and saw her poring over clipboards, filling out my information. I took the chair next to her, and tried to stay calm. I watched the clock on the wall sluggishly show that time was passing. After what seemed like an eternity, our names were called, and we walked into the office.

The place seemed different than it had earlier. Before the room gave off an anxious vibe; scary, but hinting at major relief once the task was done. Now, the room terrified me, as if my lies were etched upon its walls.

"Hello Dr. Sadowski. How are you?" My mother said, breaking through my hysteria. The two exchanged pleasantries and minor small talk before finally coming to the reason we were all sitting here. "So we're here about the baby."

"Yes, I'm quite aware of the situation, and I think that we should run a few tests to confirm the pregnancy and make sure everythings alright." She seemed so sure of herself, how could I be so nervous, when she was the picture of cool. Even while extracting my blood she never faltered. My mother and I waited patiently, staring at the floors and walls for awhile in silence. I was sweating bullets, and new that any conversation would result in stuttering and obvious lies.

"So have you thought about what you're going to do when the baby comes?" My mother asked. I shook my head rapidly to avoid the conversation. "Well, I know it's scary to think about, but you're going to have to make a decision. Like, are you planning on keeping the baby?" I shrugged and was grateful when the door swung open, revealing that Dr. Sadowski was back and that I could avoid the question.

"Well, you're blood tests are a bit troubling. Your hCG levels appear to be somewhat lower than what we'd usually expect right now. That could be because of your age, seeing as how your body isn't quite developed as say a 25 year old, but we are going to run a few more tests just to make sure that everything is okay with the baby." I nodded, this was all according to the plan.

Dr. Sadowski left, leaving me alone with my mother again. She seemed stunned. I couldn't blame her, what she would "find out" right now was pretty tragic. "Amy, don't worry. I'm sure everything is fine." She put her arms around me and patted my head. "I know you must be worried, but I'm sure there's nothing wrong."

Minutes passed that way, with me in her arms as she hushed out reassurances. I tried to stay calm, and was grateful that Mom would think I was worrying about the baby and not my lying. After a while, Dr. Sadowski came back, with a clipboard in her hands and a somber expression on her face. This would be the hard part. I had to fake a real reaction to this, and not blurt out the truth at my mother when she started crying.

"Amy, I am very sorry to tell you this. It seems you've lost the baby." She paused for a moment as she let the words sink in. My mother let out a small sob, clearly trying to be calm for me. "Have you experienced any cramping in the last few days? This may give us an indicator as of when." We talked for what felt like hours, as she asked me countless medical questions. When she seemed satisfied, she gave me a few instructions on how to care for my body the next few days. She also recommended an appointment in the next two weeks, to check for any scarring tissue. After that, I went home in a sort of daze, amazed I'd pulled it off. The ride was silent except for the small sounds coming from my mother, indicating her attempt at silent crying. I wanted to comfort her, but I still had issues to worry about.

What if Ricky told her about the abortion? I don't know what I'd do. I know the doctor would get in trouble for lying to a parent over a minor. Plus Ashley and Ben would also be punished for helping with this scheme. This entire thing could unravel at any moment, any loose end could do it. What if Grace slipped it in? I didn't really believe her "forgiveness" act. Abortion was something she clearly felt passionate about, and this was one of the things she would cross the line for.

"Amy, we're home." My mom whispered. I realized I had drifted off in my worries, and missed most of the car trip back. As I slowly walked into the house, I prepared myself for the onslaught of tears that was sure to follow, but there was none. Mom had convinced them to give me some space, sensing that I'd needed it. I walked up to my room, keeping my expression not unlike the doctor's had been. When I got to my room, I didn't shut the door, eager to listen to what they had to say. I'd noticed Dad was home, and so was Ashley. She had also crept upstairs, fearful that she could blow this carefully planned moment. I pressed my ear to the crack of space I'd left, and listened to the conversation that ensued.

Thanks for reading! As always send me your comments on what you'd like to see or what you want explained. I know this one's kinda long, but its been awhile since I've written, so I wanted to give you guys a long chapter as a way to make up to it. I tried to stay factual about the medical stuff where I could, but if you notice a problem send me a comment and I'll try to fix it. I know the subject of abortion is dicey, but if we never talk about things then things never change. I also think there is this big misconception that girls who have abortions don't care about it. Amy is clearly struggling with it, and only did it because she knew that being a teenage parent would be difficult for both her and the child. I know this may seem wrong to some people, but hey you searched the story. I should be posting again soon, although if I don't then remember that I never forget about a story I'm just waiting for inspiration to hit me. Thanks again for reading!


	7. My Parents talk

"So, how'd it go?" My father asked. He could tell from our faces and the silence in which we walked back that something was amiss. I expected her to yell at him, but instead she just fell apart.

"Oh George!" She cried. "Amy lost the baby." Even though I couldn't see her from up here, I could picture her face as she said this and a slice of pain shot through me. My father remained impassive for a moment before a low sobbing sound was heard. My father had never cried, not even I had told him I was pregnant (though he had gotten a little teary). Even when my Aunt Jenna's funeral came three years ago, as she had died from a car accident. To hear his howls along with my mother made me feel a new wave of agony. It felt like I was drowning in it. I was about to let the tears flow when I felt someone open the door. I gathered myself up for Mom or Dad, when I realized it was Ashley.

"It's okay." She said, quietly shutting the door and hugging me. "You had to tell them. It was the only way. Maybe someday you can tell them what really happened." I ripped myself away from her embrace.

"What!" I fought to keep my voice to a whisper, but I could barely contain myself. "I can't tell them. Can you imagine what they'll think of me? Or of poor Dr. Sadowski? What do you think the point of that was?" I pointed at the door.

"Whoa, whoa! Calm down. I just meant that when you're old and grey if you want to tell them then you can." I took a deep breath, still staring at her.

"Never. They will never know about this. Ever." My words were low and dangerous. Final. Ashley nodded, and resumed hugging me. I let out a single sob into her shoulder, they pulled away. I still wanted to hear what Mom and Dad were talking about. As I quietly pushed open the door, I heard my mom recounting what had happened. She was already at the part where we were waiting for the 2nd blood test.

"So there we were, hoping for the best. I think Amy was stunned. I mean, she never wanted the baby, but this was so shocking. It took away her choice in the matter. I tried to comfort her, but you saw her face when she walked in here, she was devastated."

"Did they say what caused it?" For once my dad wasn't shouting. His voice was a hushed whisper.

"They said it could be a number of things to her age or the baby's chromosomal count. They said they just don't know."

"Stupid doctors! What's the point of paying them if they can't tell you what's wrong?" Now he was shouting, screaming really. We heard a loud crashing sound that meant he'd hit something.

"Careful!" Mom warned. "Amy's probably trying to get some sleep. This is hard enough."

"Sorry. You're right. I just can't imagine how she must feel. Tomorrow let's not talk about it unless **she** wants to. Maybe she can invite Ben over, and watch a movie. Something calm to get her mind off of it, if only for one day." They couldn't hear her next words, but heard her tell him goodnight later. She had let him sleep on the couch, but no her room. I gaped, open mouth at Ashley.

"What am I gonna do?" I could feel the prickle of tears run down my face.

"Listen, call Adrian and Ben over tomorrow. You can talk to them alone. You'll tell them the real story, since they already know it, but come up with your cover up together. I have school tomorrow, but if you want I can sleep in here." Her offer hung in the air. I shook my head.

"No, go and get some rest. I'll be fine. I'll probably just be sleeping anyways and that's no fun." I tried to smile, but barely managed to get the words out. She hugged me again and then left. I pulled out my phone and texted Ben and Adrian.

**GROUP Text**; Ben, Adrian (7:02pm)

**Guys, can you come over tomorrow after school. I need to talk.**

I waited awhile, but eventually they both texted back with Ok's. Then Ben called.

"H-H-Hi B-B-Ben." I tried to keep my voice even, but it came out all wrong.

"Amy! What's wrong?" His voice was filled with concern. I tried to speak actual words, but then tears started pouring out of me. "Amy, shh shh, its gonna be okay. Everythings gonna be alright. What happened?" I cried for a few more minutes before telling him.

"Nothing happened. Everything is right on schedule. It's just," I paused for a moment. "How can I be lying to them like this? If they ever find out they'll hate me."

"They're not going to find out. Besides, no one could ever hate you. You're too sweet." I chuckled. Ben always knew how to make me feel better.

"Let's talk about something else. What's new with you, I mean besides this whole mess."

"Nothing much. Let's see, Dad got a new sausage deal." We spoke for hours about the most trivial of things. We talked about the time he went skiing with his parents and broke a bone for the first time. It was really nice. The talking, not the bone breaking.

"Whoa Ben, it's already 10:30. I gotta get to sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Amy. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow, I love you too." I clicked the phone, feeling better than I had all day and drifted off into sleep.

Find out what the plan is in the next chapter of the story. Thanks for reading! Comment what you want to happen. I love reading you're comments and some of my ideas come from there, thank you.


	8. Grace's POV

I know I usually do this at the end, but since this is a slight change from usual I decided to do it now. This is from Grace's point of view from the day Amy had the abortion all the way to where we last left off with Amy. Some of it is actually in the show, but it's from Grace's side. We also get to see her reaction more closely and some stuff not scene by Amy. Let me know it you want more chapters from other character's points of view, or if you have any unanswered questions. I try to answer if I can, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Comment Below what you think. I love reading what you guys have to say. Thanks for reading!

**Grace POV**

I got up earlier than usual to get ready. After my morning prayers I showered and got ready for school, choosing a white tank top with a yellow sweater and a pair of jeans. Then I brushed my hair, ate some breakfast, and said goodbye to my parents and Tom before leaving to school. First period Algebra was boring, but at least I learned a lot. After that I was walking to my second period when I saw Ricky talking to Adrian. Ricky was a nice guy who was rumored to be the father of Amy Juergens baby. And Adrian was the girl who kissed Jack in front of the whole school a few days ago. I tried not to hate her, because Jesus says that we should never hate anyone, but it was hard. She walked away from Ricky, and I walked over to him.

"Hi, Ricky. How are you? Tough day?" I asked him. He looked sad and slightly angry.

"Yeah, it is a tough day, but it's not true. Ya know, about Amy Juergens. I told you what happened before, but just believe me, even though it was her idea I would never ever be irresponsible ever. She's not having a baby, not my baby anyways." I shrugged. I had heard my Dad tell my Mom the other day that she was. They didn't know I heard, but since my Dad is coworkers with her Doctor he knows.

"Ricky..." I started, but he cut me off.

"She's a sweet girl. She's just a little mixed up. I'm sure she's not having my baby. I'm positive."

"I don't know, I mean where did you hear that?" He must be so scared, with all the stories going around. This confidence must be a facade.

"I can't say…" He trailed off.

"Adrian?"

"Can't." He repeated. New subject, talking about the supposed baby he was having wasn't fun for either of us.

"Ricky did you read that Bible passage I told you about?" I asked him. The other day we'd been talking after school and we talked about truth and lies not ruling thy self. He put on a sheepish expression at my words, and looked down.

"Oh, no. The Bible passage. We don't have any of those Bible books in the house." Ricky lived with foster parents, and I couldn't blame him for that.

"Oh, I'll get you one." Everyone should have a Bible in their house, the church gave them out for free.

"No, don't spend your money on me, babe." I shook my head.

"Oh, I've got an extra one. I'll just bring it for you." I smiled brightly. He was so thoughtful.

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"Look Ricky, I'm trying to be a friend to you. You're going to need a friend, I think. Because Amy Juergens really is having a baby. I have it one good authority." I tried to look sympathetic.

"But…" He lowered his voice. "Well, maybe she was, but according to someone else, she's taken care of it." A confused look showed on my face. What did he mean?

"What do you mean, taken care of it?" Ricky looked down, ashamedly almost. Realization dawned on me after a second. "Wait, you mean she's having an abortion?" The evil of evil. Murdering a baby, a poor innocent baby who hadn't even gotten a chance to live yet.

"I think that's a possibility." He said, looking into my eyes. Shock hit me as I he confirmed it. As a Christian it was my solemn duty to prevent this.

"Oh no! Come on." I told him. I started walking toward the parking lot. "I will not let anything bad happen to your baby." I marched off, only pausing to tell Marni (a fellow cheerleader) to tell the teacher I had to leave early since she was in my next class.

I rushed home, and ran inside. My parents weren't home, but Tom must've been. I tried to make as little noise as possible, but was relieved when I heard the water running from upstairs. He must've been in the shower. I opened my laptop at the table and searched "Abortion Clinics near me." A few searches showed up. Two clinics were nearby. I wrote down both addresses and raced back outside. Driving in my car, I saw Ricky walking on the sidewalk. I stopped.

"Get in." I told him. He raised an eyebrow, but got in. As I drove, I told him my idea. To find Amy, and stop her. He nodded along, thanking me for caring so much about his baby. We drove to the 2nd address I'd written first, only because it was closer. As I walked in I asked about Amy, but the receptionist said that no one had come in for that today. I smiled, and we left, rushing for the other address first. I hoped it wasn't too late to save the baby. As we got out, I decided that if she wasn't here then we could find her at home and stop her, before she even came to the clinic. When we got inside, I went to the front.

"I'm not going to cause you any problems." I told the woman at the desk.

"No, you're certainly not." She replied, almost rudely. I flashed a charming smile and asked her if a girl named Amy had shown up today. "Who's here and who's not here is really none of your business. But if you need help with family planning, I'd be happy to set you up with one of our counselors." I wondered if that meant Amy was here. I was a little angry, and it carried into my tone.

"Jesus is my counselor." I told her.

"What a coincidence. He's mine too." She replied.

"I don't think so." I said. To work in a place like this was too endorse it, unless you were here to convince the girls too stop. Then a familiar voice came from behind me.

"What are you doing here?" Adrian was here, with Ben. That meant Amy must've been here.

"Where's Amy?" I said. Adrian looked oblivious.

"What? Who's Amy? Ben and I are" She paused for a moment. "Get free condoms." Ben looked surprised by her revelation and turned to us.

"Let's just step outside." He said. I turned back towards the lady.

"I know she's here!" I was mad now, really mad. How dare they? Didn't they realize that the life of an innocent child was at stake here.

"This isn't a teen center." She said stone coldly. "You and your friends need to step outside. Security!" She called. A man in a security outfit stepped out. He was older, maybe mid 30's, and probably got this a lot from the way he reacted.

"All right, let's go, let's go." He said, pulling me away towards the exit.

"I'm not gonna let you do this Amy!" I shouted towards the door that led to the offices was.

"Now, all of you." His restraining arms shoved me backwards. I shouted her name again to no avail.

"Outside miss." I glared at the man and resisted, hoping Amy had heard me and made the right choice. Ben pretended he was all innocent and they allowed him to stay.

"Wait just a minute." I told the man. I turned to Ben and Adrian. "You two drove her here, you two are accessories to a crime!" Adrian looked angry.

"Didn't I tell you to stay out of this? Are you that desperate to sleep with her? You'd really think she'd be any fun at all?" She shouted.

"Is that all you ever think about? Sex?" I asked her. She was such a slut. Amy may have made one mistake, but it was Adrian who really deserved to be punished.

"Tell her the truth, you coward. You don't care about Amy or that baby! You don't care if Amy has an abortion!" She glared at Ricky, but he remained calm and silent.

"Yes, he does, and so do I. And so does God!" I yelled.

"Oh honey, they do not take a vote on these things."

"Don't call me "honey!" I shouted.

"Why not, _honey_?" She said, strictly to annoy me. I folded my arms, and stared at the security guard. He dragged us all outside, except Ben, who was called in. we argued outside for awhile, trying to get in. After about two hours later, Ben came outside carrying an dazed Amy in his arms. At that moment I knew that it was over. The baby was gone and Amy was a killer. He gently placed her in the car, while Adrian looked relieved. Ricky looked sick. he threw up in the bushes while I shouted at Ben.

"HOW COULD YOU! YOU MURDERER! THAT INNOCENT BABY IS GONE NOW BECAUSE **YOU** ENCOURAGED HER!" I was screaming.

"Hey!" Adrian said. "It was her choice, not mine, and certainly not yours!" I growled violently, and screeched back at her.

"And what about the baby, the baby doesn't get to choose not does he?" Adrian stopped talking, triumphant and happy. I turned to Ben.

"You did this!" I shoved him.

"I didn't want this! I wanted her to marry me and keep the baby, but she didn't want too. This was her choice, not mine, but I love her. And if this was what she wants, then I'd do anything for her. I'm in love with her!" He shouted at me.

"And what about the baby?" I growled. He ignored me and got in the car. Adrian drove away, taking them both with her. I screamed. Ricky was pacing, shouting to himself. I dropped him off at home before going home and crying. My parents still weren't home, but Tom knocked on my door. I ignored him and continued crying. After a while I was so sad at my failure and angry that I sent Amy a text.

**Amy** (6:23pm)

**I can't believe what you did. That baby was innocent. Murderer. I'd tell everyone what you did, except Ricky asked me not to. I'll be praying for the baby you killed.**

I had cried myself out, and just stared at the ceiling. After a few minutes I felt sorry for what I'd done. I was a good Christian and that text was bullying. After the whole "Shirtless Ricky" scandal I wasn't following as much as usual. I pulled out my phone and texted her again.

**Amy** (6:26pm)

**I'm sorry. The Christian in me is angry, but I know how hard the decision must have been for you. I forgive you. I'll be praying for you.**

Then I went to sleep. The next few days I went to classes, cheer practice, and lunch, but I was in a kind of daze. Amy's been gone for the past few days, and I couldn't really think about anything but the baby. Jack kept trying to talk to him, but I ignored him. All he wanted was sex anyways, and I didn't want to end up like Amy Juergens.


End file.
